They Had To See This Coming?

This maybe the greatest headline I've ever read. For real:

"Guinness Record Holder For "The Most Lawsuits Filed" Sues Guinness Book of Records For Naming Him As The Person With The Most Lawsuits Filed"

No, I'm serious. Here's a link to the whole story. It's also the most pathetic thing I've ever read I think. Aren't there enough frivolous lawsuits tying up the court's time and money? People will literally sue for anything nowadays.

Here's some excerpts:

The “Lawsuit Zeus,” also known as “Johnny Sue-nami,” filed a lawsuit this week in federal court seeking an injunction to stop the Guinness Book of World Records from naming him as the person who has filed the most lawsuits in the history of mankind.

Riches alleges that Guinness is planning to print false information about the number of lawsuits he has filed, which he says is more than 4,000 worldwide. And he objects to the names Guinness intends to call him, including: “The litigator crusader,” the “duke of lawsuits,” “Johnny Sue-nami,” “Sue-per-man” and the “Patrick Ewing of suing.”

“I’ve filed so many lawsuits with my pen and right hand that I got arthritis in my fingers, numbness in my wrists, crooked fingers,” he wrote – by hand – in the latest filing. “I flush out more lawsuits than a sewer.”

In the injunction filed in Richland, Riches – who acknowledges he is receiving treatment for mental-health problems – said: “The Guinness Book of World Records have no right to publish my work, my legal masterpieces.”

Those include lawsuits against New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick, former President George W. Bush, Somali pirates, Britney Spears and Martha Stewart, according to a Wikipedia page dedicated to Riches’ litigious exploits.

He’s also filed lawsuits against Plato, Nostradamus, James Hoffa, “Various Buddhist Monks,” the Lincoln Memorial, the Eiffel Tower and Three Mile Island.

In his latest court filing, Riches wrote about how he sued Black History Month, the president of Iran and butter substitute I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter!

“When I get out of prison, I’m going to start a Lawsuit 101 shop and teach Americans how to file pro se lawsuits,” meaning lawsuits filed without an attorney, said Riches, who may be released from federal custody in 2012.

“I will sell Jonathan Lee Riches T-shirts (saying), ‘Watch what you do, or I’ll sue you.’ ”