Movie Review: Piranha 3DD

Synopsis: After the events at Lake Victoria, the pre-historic school of blood-thirsty piranhas make their way into a newly opened waterpark.

Here's what I need from a comedy/horror movie named Piranha 3DD... piranha mauling, comedy and large ta-tas. They're all present and accounted for here. Saying the laughs are pretty low-brow is like saying Einstein was sort of smart, but c'mon you should just know that going in. If you can't find humor in a man's decapitated head motorboating a buxom busty bikini topped woman, well then my friend I feel sorry for you.

The cast is wonderful as it's loaded with lovely ladies and dementedly funny people like David Hasslehoff (poking a lot of fun at himself), David Koechner (Todd Packer on The Office), Ving Rhames, Christopher Lloyd and Gary Busey. That's a lot of crazy there folks. As for the eye candy I mentioned, a whole list of gorgeous young actresses like Danielle Panabaker, Katrina Bowden, Meagan Tandy and Sierra Fisk have speaking rolls and then I think casting went to the local modelling agency and/or strip club to fill the bouncing in slow motion type rolls, if you get my drift. And there is slow-mo bouncing (and it's not just Hasslehoff).

What's not to like you say? Well, it's pretty dreadful honestly. The plot is moronic and the characters actions are baffling and frankly just stupid. But hell this ain't Shakespeare, you just need to disengage your brain and laugh and cheer as one ludicrous thing after another happens before your eyes. Surely you want to see Ving Rhames, sans his legs, attach some guns in the place of his artificial legs right? And blast away at some fish? Or a piranha try to eat his way into a fat guy's booty? Or hasn't everyone dreamed of a water park with an "adult" section where ladies swim topless or full buff? With an underwater camera set-up to get them coming up the ladder? Right fellas?

Well here's my summary... stupid, low-brow fun that's rated R for sequences of strong bloody horror violence and gore, graphic nudity, sexual content, language and some drug use. There's all you really need to know.

5/10