Best of March Fails

With the help of the fine folk at WTFailable, here's their March 2012 Fail Compilation and one thing is for sure, there was a lot more great stupidity caught on camera this month. Has anybody in a shopping cart outside of a store ever actually ended well? Why do idiots who obviously don't know how to ride motorcycles never have helmets on? Are teeter-tooters the most dangerous invention in the history of man? And prepare for some spectacular skateboard wipeouts!

Final Four Gets Kissed

It's been sort of a running joke how lately we plan a trip and get it all set-up only to find out that there's something awesome going on we didn't even know about. Last September it was Galveston and we got there to find out about a big 3-day beer festival and then just last week we had our annual Spring break New Orleans trip going down only to find out about the NOLA International Beer Festival just happened to be going on. Lucky us! But just before we left for NOLA we found out that actually we were going a week early. For the Final Four this weekend, one of my all-time favorite bands KISS was playing a show for free at the AT&T Block Party (amongst other events all weekend). Oh well, at least we avoided the massive throngs of drunk NCAA hoops fan, so that's a positive.

Anyway, we weren't there but plenty of people with cameras were. Here's a pretty well shot video of KISS performing "Black Diamond" live in New Orleans last night:

Meshuggah Is Breaking Those Bones

Check out Swedish extreme metallers Meshuggah's new video for "Break These Bones Whose Sinews Gave It Motion" their new album, "Koloss". Careful not to throw your back out, this is heavier than t-rex balls. And no, I have no idea what the hell they're even talking (growling) about. Don't care either.

Vocalist Jens Kidman: "We were high on tacos and sodas when we recorded this video."

Directed by Owe Lingvall of Sweden's Village Road Film.

Hometown Hottie Winner Dominique Storelli Is All American

Let's have a closer look at Maxim's 2012 March Cover Girl Dominique Storelli, shall we? And by closer look, I mean to keep pausing the video at just the right times to stare at this knockout. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

This Mean War!

Nickelback! Their new video for their song "This Means War" pretty much rocks. Haters say blah blah blah. I don't care. Dig it. Dig 'em.

Mommy Not So Dearest

Mother's Day is just a little over a month away and what better way to celebrate than to take your Mom to see a movie about sadistic members of a villainous family returning to their childhood home to terrorize the new home owners and their guests? Perhaps some tea and cake afterwards?

So put this on your calendars, there's a limited theatrical release in early May followed by the DVD May 8th. Here's the "Mother´s Day" Trailer in HD, from director Darren Lynn Bousman (Saw II, III and IV) and starring Rebecca De Mornay (Hand That Rocks The Cradle), Jaime King (Sin City, My Bloody Valentine) and Patrick John Flueger (The 4400).

The All-American Rejects On Jimmy Kimmel Live

Stillwater, Oklahoma's The All-American Rejects made an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night and played "Beekeeper's Daughter" and "Kids In The Streets", both off their new CD called Kids In The Streets.

Lead singer Tyson Ritter says "It’s going to be the year of the Rejects, [Our album release] is going to coincide with the Mayan end of the world thing, so the last song you’ll die to will be one of ours."

Sister Spits on Me?

Swedish sleaze and punk influenced metal band Sister's new video "Spit On Me" can been seen below. It's off their CD "Hated" which came out last Summer.



Made by Jimmy Johansson, SLP.

Shot by Jonas Berndt and Sister.

"Big thanks to main man Jimmy Johansson for making this video and not to forget our two tour crew members Johan "Prästen" Heijdenberg and Jonas "Gryning" Berndt."

Shinedown Rocks Jimmy Kimmel Live

Shinedown's excellent new CD Amaryllis came out this week so they made an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night and played "Bully" and "Unity" both off of it. Check 'em out below.

Finally, The D Is Back!

It's hard to believe it's been 6 years since Tenacious D's "The Pick of Destiny" but it sure has. Finally Jack Black and Kyle Gass are back with a new short film/music called "To Be The Best". They're set to release a new CD called "The Rize of the Fenix" on May 15.



(C) 2012 Sony Music Entertainment

New Jason Aldean Video

New music video by Jason Aldean performing Fly Over States.



(C) 2012 Broken Bow Records

Who'd You Have In Your Hooter's Bracket?

If you picked this beautiful, busty young bracket buster you're in luck! The votes are in and of the 16 Hooters Dream Girls that were vying to win the competition, Michelle Sacco came out the winner! Michelle is a Hooters Girl at the Hooters of Cumberland, in Atlanta, GA. More than a mouthful indeed.

And a shout-out below this video for the Arkansas girl Kaylee Farris from the Fort Smith Hooters! A definite winner in my book as well.

Bellator 62 Moment: Rick Hawn TKO's Ricardo Tirloni

Rick Hawn droppin' bombs against Ricardo Tirloni!

"For former American Olympic Judo team member Rick Hawn, the question going into his Season 6 Lightweight Quarterfinal fight with Ricardo Tirloni was how effective he would be in his first trip to 155 pounds. The answer was clear. With both men exchanging early in the opening round, Hawn appeared to be the aggressor as he stalked Tirloni and forced him against the cage. Tirloni was able to land some clean leg kicks that certainly impressed the Laredo crowd. However, the power of Hawn proved to be too much for Tirloni midway through the first round as he landed a right hand behind the ear of the Brazilian that sent him crashing to the canvas. After a barrage of strikes, the fight was stopped at 2:36 of the opening round."

Sunday Funnies

Motley Crue & KISS: The Tour

"We're sick and tired of girls getting up there with dancers and karaoke tapes in back of them," Simmons said. "No fake bullshit. Leave that to the Rihanna, Shmianna and anyone who ends their name with an 'A.'"

Bam! A tour with KISS and Motley Crue again? Sold. I don't care how old they are, hell I'm old too. I'll definitely hit a show on 2 on this stop somehow. Check out this bit from RevolverTV on some things to expect.

"Carla Harvey of the Butcher Babies goes behind the scenes with Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, Nikki Sixx and Vince Neil to get the inside scoop on the legendary tour."

Chaos Lives In Everything

Check out the official video for Korn's 'Chaos Lives In Everything' (Feat. Skrillex) from their latest album 'The Path Of Totality'...

Could The Use Of Flying Death Robots Be Hurting America's Reputation Worldwide?

The First Responders debate the U.S. military's use of drone planes to rain fiery death upon Afghanistan from above.

10 & 12 Year Olds Cover Keith Urban

Keith Urban posted this cover of his song "For You" on his Facebook page this morning and it's definitely worth sharing. When I was 10 to 12 years old I was trying to master Chopsticks and failing. In my defense I was an excellent air guitar player though. Still am.

Well done boys.

"Brothers Carson (age 10) and Jackson (age 12) were inspired to learn this song after seeing the "Act of Valor" movie portraying Navy Seals. A special thank you go out to all the brave men and women in the U S military for sacrificially serving our country, risking their lives to insure our freedom and safety. Our family thanks Jesus for his ultimate sacrifice! We also want to thank Keith Urban for being an inspiration to Carson at age 4, the main reason for Carson wanting to learn to play guitar! Quote.....Carson said, "Mom when I grow up I want to jam on my guitar like Keith Urban" so she signed him up for lessons. Now Carson is inspiring people around the world with his music!"

Cardinals Win 11th Title In '11... Remember That?

It's almost baseball season finally. I just got my season tickets in for the minor league team here and was reliving last season a bit and stumbled across this video on YouTube called "St. Louis Cardinals 2011-What a Team, What a Ride" and just had to post it. Avert your eyes Ranger fans and Cardinal haters. Lots of good David Freese highlights too for some reason. Play ball baby!

Redlight King Acoustic

Here's a pretty cool video of Redlight King performing the track “Something for the Pain” acoustically.



(C) 2012 Hollywood Records, Inc.

Big Things Have Small Beginnings

The trailer for Ridley Scott's sci-fi flick "Prometheus" is out and it's nothing short of awesome, so check it out below and then join me anxiously waiting for it to arrive this Summer. It stars Charlize Theron and Michael Fassbender and hits theaters June 8, 2012.

"Ridley Scott, director of "Alien" and "Blade Runner," returns to the genre he helped define. With PROMETHEUS, he creates a groundbreaking mythology, in which a team of explorers discover a clue to the origins of mankind on Earth, leading them on a thrilling journey to the darkest corners of the universe. There, they must fight a terrifying battle to save the future of the human race."

ProjectPrometheus.com

Sunday Funnies

Brutal Flying Knee Makes For Nap Time

In Bellator Season Six Middleweight Tournament, Vitor Vianna got KTFO by Brian Rogers with a highlight-reel flying knee which I will now share with you. Prepare to yell "OHHHH!" as you watch it. It's just the proper reaction. Bellator is a legit organization that puts on great fights, possibly the only one at the moment outside of UFC and Strikeforce at this level of quality.

Hurt: How We End Up Alone

Here's the new video from Hurt for the song "How We End Up Alone" from their upcoming CD, The Crux, which will be released on April 24th, 2012. These guys are really making some good music in my opinion. We saw them do an acoustic show a few months ago and their music has what a lot of music today just doesn't... raw, heartfelt emotion. Seeing these guys in that intimate setting really makes a connection. Personally I can't wait for the new CD.

(A Biologist's) St. Patrick's Day Song

Happy St. Patty's Day! I know you want to start it off with a little ditty from a biologist, like you probably do every holiday amIright? Well you're in luck! Here's a song about beer, which is actually quite scientific. And funny. Check out other videos at user "cadamole's" YouTube page.

The lyrics are below the video.

"I'm resurrecting this nerdy drinking song from last year... As many of you perceptive viewers noticed there were a couple alcohol-induced scientific errors in my last version of this song (gold star, perceptive viewers!) -- so I thought this St. Patrick's day would be a perfect time to correct them."



Lyrics:
In the year of our lord eighteen hundred and eleven
On March the seventeenth day
I will raise up a beer and I'll raise up a cheer
For Saccharomyces cerevisiae
Here's to brewers yeast, that humblest of all beasts
Producing carbon gas reducing acetaldehyde
But my friends that isn't all -- it makes ethyl alcohol
That is what the yeast excretes and that's what we imbibe

Anaerobic isolation
Alcoholic fermentation
NADH oxidation
Give me a beer

[CHORUS]

My intestinal wall absorbs that ethanol
And soon it passes through my blood-brain barrier
There's a girl in the next seat who I didn't think that sweet
But after a few drinks I want to marry her
I guess it's not surprising, my dopamine is rising
And my glutamate receptors are all shot
I'd surely be bemoaning all the extra serotonin
But my judgment is impaired and my confidence is not

Allosteric modulation
No Long Term Potentiation
Hastens my inebriation
Give me a beer

[CHORUS]

When ethanol is in me, some shows up in my kidneys
And inhibits vasopressin by degrees
A decrease in aquaporins hinders water re-absorption
And pretty soon I really have to pee
Well my liver breaks it down so my body can rebound
By my store of glycogen is soon depleted
And tomorrow when I'm sober I will also be hungover
Cause I flushed electrolytes that my nerves and muscles needed

Diuretic activation
Urination urination
Urination dehydration
Give me a beer

[CHORUS]

Bald Man Grabs Mic, Sings Into It

Daughtry performed "Outta My Head" on American Idol last night, and if like me you don't watch this show you'll be happy to know that somebody posted the video... and it's right here:

Oops... My Blog Roll Is Showing

Due to about 1,000 current commitments I haven't been posting as many blogs as I usually do. Hey give me a break, I just sold a boat, am trying to fix-up and sell 2 homes and get closed and moved into another home... all at the same time. And we're going to New Orleans again for spring break next week (and the New Orleans International Beer Festival!!). All of these things are good, I just haven't had the time to watch as many movies or read books and review stuff lately. And I haven't brewed a batch of beer in a month! *gasp* All this whining just to say I added a blog roll over to the side there. So now when you come here and check and see there's no update because I'm fat and lazy that day or possibly too drunk, you can see what these fine folks have going on and be entertained:


Some of the greatest minds on the whole Internet are included in there, and frankly those are where I steal a lot of stuff from... err I mean "get a lot of ideas" from. So go read them regularly. I do. I'll add some more, but only the top 5 most recent posts will show up. Most post pretty regularly, as apparently none are moving multiple houses at the moment like yours truly.

* So what else is happening? St. Patty's Day! I've posted quite a bit of junk on here the last few years so if you click right here you can see all of those on 1 handy page. In there you'll find one I did with some St. Pat's toasts on it, and someone sent me this link as well which you might also like:

10 St. Patrick's Day Toasts You Don't Want To Hear

So yeah, go out and drink like an amateur this weekend. And no green beer.

* Well it's been a pretty decent year in music so far for my money. I've been to see Evanescence, Zac Brown Band, Rascal Flatts and have tickets for Van Halen, Kool & The Gang, Daughtry and SafetySuit in the next 6 weeks or so. I've been playing the new Bruce Springsteen CD quite a bit and am a big fan. Also picked up and am blasting new 2012 CDs from Slaves on Dope, Dark New Day, Green River Ordinance, Shooter Jennings, Adrenaline Mob and Van Halen. Lots to like.

* While I'm packing away all my crap for moving, I'm running across some crap that I wonder why I even have. I'm thinking I'll post some pics of some Starting Line-Up figures of guys who I wonder why I bought to begin with and also I've found oodles of my plethora of KISS memorabilia. Sad. I know. And movies... ON VHS.

So back to your regularly scheduled blogging. And don't forget to check the blog roll right there on the side!!

Jessica Rafalowski... WOW

It's tough to beat Kate Upton these days and the most smokin' hot woman on the face of the earth, but Bikini.com thinks that another one of the hottest models on the rise today is gorgeous Jessica Rafalowski. I can't say I disagree after seeing this video profile of her and her wonderful assets.

A former small town girl turned beauty queen winning Miss Florida USA, she's been scaling the heights of the modeling world with feature profiles in magazines like Maxim and being the face of Go Daddy, Beach Bunny Swimwear and other big advertisers.

If just Jessica isn't enough, at about 1:55 Kate joins us and you can check out the booty showdown between Jessica and Kate that is an instant classic.

Drunk, Meet Jiu-Jitsu Expert

Apparently, back in December, Ryan Hall was enjoying dinner in the company of friends when a drunk (and stupid) man approached the table requesting a lighter. After informing him the table was comprised of non-smokers, the man became enraged, demonstrating violent behavior and directly threatening Ryan Hall. The problem for the drunk? Ryan Hall is a Jiu-Jitsu Black Belt and is one of the most competitively successful American-born Jiu-Jitsu players to date and is widely regarded as one of the best lightweight submission grapplers in the world. Oops. He has over 300 victories in competition (over 275 via submission), so you can see where this is going to go.

I will say though, he showed remarkable poise to not just murder this moron. No punches are even thrown. Fun stuff. The guys should send him and his buddies a thank you card.

"This video displays the occurrence in its entirety, to show exactly how Brazilian Jiu Jitsu can be used in self-defense as a means to control and subdue an opponent. Without a single punch thrown, the opponent is first controlled, and in a second encounter choked unconscious as a means to end the confrontation."

Pour Some Meshuggah On Me?

Well this is interesting. Take 1 part Swedish extreme metallers Meshuggah and 1 part hair band godz Def Leppard and this is the bastard child perhaps. The caption on the video says "My band THE DEADSTATION recently finished recording a new EP so we decided to have some fun and do this video. Have a laugh!"

Yes kids, it's the brilliantly named "Pour Some Meshuggah On Me" for your viewing and listening pleasure. An A+ for creativity here.

The new Meshuggah CD Koloss is out March 27th for the record.

But for now... I'm hot, sticky sweet...

Sunset Strip Is Like Eden With Booze and Metal

I never got to stumble up and down the Sunset Strip and see bands like Guns n Roses and Motley Crue back in the day, but I have stumbled around on Sunset Strip more recently a few times and seen some bands. Pretty cool, but obviously not the same. Maybe this sweet looking new documentary, called Sunset Strip (of course), will capture part of what it was like back on those times. It looks cool and has people like Slash, Ozzy, Tommy Lee, Johnny Depp and of course Lemmy. Check out the trailer below.

"Birthed as a dusty trading route at the turn of last century, Sunset Strip became the world's center of gravity for music, glamour, fashion, sex, and decadence. This curvy, mile-and-a-half strip of road falls just outside LA city limits, beyond the reach of LAPD, where it grew into a place like no other on the planet. A place where dreams are started, chased, loved, hated, displayed, ignored, ended, or all of the above. You make your last stand in Eden, and this is Eden."

Fightville Looks Pretty Sweet

I've been seeing this trailer for a pretty cool documentary about Mixed Martial Arts called "Fightville" that seems to be making a few festivals. I haven't seen whether it'll him theaters in a limited run or go straight to DVD. I'll post anything else I see, but check this out in the meantime...

"Mixed Martial Arts has grown from a controversial no-holds-barred gladiatorial sideshow into a billion dollar phenomena eclipsing boxing as the dominant combat sport in the world. But far from Las Vegas, in sweat-soaked gyms and low-rent arenas across America, the big lights are but a dream. Here, men fight to test their mettle, fortified with the mythic promise that an ordinary man can transform into a champion. FIGHTVILLE is about the art and sport of fighting: a microcosm of life, a physical manifestation of that other brutal contest called the American Dream."

Movie Review: The Dead

Synopsis: When the last evacuation flight out of war-torn Africa crashes off the coast, American Air Force Engineer Lieutenant Brian Murphy emerges as the sole survivor in a land where the dead are returning to life and attacking the living. When his path clashes with that of Sergeant Daniel Dembele, whose village has been torn apart by the reanimated dead, they join forces. The two desperate men from two very different cultures fight side by side to survive across the incredible vistas of Africa as the world succumbs to the deadliest of viruses.

Zombies movies have become about as popular as vampire films lately it seems, so to stand out at all they need some sort of hook. This one is really just another zombie road movie, but it's set in Africa. Yep, the Sahara Desert is a dead zone. This gives it a bit of uniqueness. Think The Walking Dead in the desert.

Still though, it's a bit of the same-ole, same-ole. It's a fairly simple story and we've seen most of this before... with our humans on the move and zombies popping up only to get their brains bashed time and time again. But they must get to [fill in your location] to be safe! Does it still exist? [cue flashbacks to family]

It works though because it has some good make-up and gore, solid camera work (which really adds to the contrast of gory images and beautiful views of Africa), good acting and an overall feel that's above a standard zombie B movie. It drags a bit at times and could probably use about 10 minutes cut out for my liking, but there are plenty of zombies at least, and isn't that what you want out of a zombie film?

A well done, but not spectacular, and unique addition to the zombie genre for my money.

6/10

You Boys Sure Got Some Purty Moufs!

I saw this little slice of awesome over at The Daily What (a kickass site if you don't already know this) and just had to share it. I like it for several reasons... 1) I wish I could play like this 2) I love to see talented kids rocking out 3) I had a certain incident occur which we will not discuss while canoeing in the hills of Arkansas once. Leave it at that.

"Banjo player Jonny Mizzone, 9, fiddler Robbie Mizzone, 13, and guitarist Tommy Mizzone, 14, of the world-famous Sleepy Man Banjo Boys (previously) perform a “Revenge of the Guitar” rendition of Guitar Boogie’s bluegrass standard, Dueling Banjos."

Shinedown Has Unity

Shinedown's video for the song "Unity" can be seen below. The track comes off the band's long-awaited (by me anyway) forth studio album, "Amaryllis", which comes out on March 27th.

Perpare to Nerdgasm

Got the day off on May 3rd and nothing to do? Are you a fan of Iron Man, Hulk, Captain America or any of the Marvel superheros and all their movies? Well, you're in luck. AMC theater chain has announced the ultimate event to coincide with the release of the new movie The Avengers 3D at midnight... how about an all day Marvel movie marathon? Get your capes pressed, tell your folks not to lock the basement door because you'll be gone all day and remind that girlfriend which you don't have not to call your cell phone, because that's just what's up true believers. All day baby! Not a lot of theaters yet but I'll bet more are coming. Six movies. One day.

Read on for the official release...

Get ready to watch the greatest Marvel movie event ever held at your local AMC Theatre on May 3rd! Experience THE ULTIMATE MARVEL MARATHON with six movies on one epic day. Watch the heroes’ stories unfold as they assemble for the midnight premiere of The Avengers 3D!

Here's a list of the six movies being shown at THE ULTIMATE MARVEL MARATHON:

Iron Man
The Incredible Hulk
Iron Man 2
Thor in 3D
Captain America in 3D
The Avengers in 3D

Limited engagement tickets for both THE AVENGERS and THE ULTIMATE MARVEL MARATHON will go on sale this Sunday night at a select number of AMC Theatres.

The times the tickets will go on sale are as follows:

Eastern Standard Time - 12:01am Sunday night (3/11) / Monday morning (3/12)
Pacific Standard Time - 9:01pm Sunday night (3/11)

Here is a list of the select theatres where you can purchase tickets:

Boston Common 19 Boston, MA
Burbank 16 Burbank, CA
Downtown Disney 12 Anaheim, CA
Aventura 24 Aventura, FL
Empire 25 New York, NY
Garden State 16 Paramus, NJ
Downtown Disney 24 Lake Buena Vista, FL
Metreon 16 San Francisco, CA
Alderwood 16 Lynnwood, WA
Tysons Corner 16 McLean, VA

Tickets will go on sale for other AMC Theatres on March 16th. The expanded list will also be made available on March 16th.

Don't miss out on the greatest Marvel movie event ever assembled!!

This Day In KISS History

A great "THIS DAY IN KISSTORY" from KISSONLINE.com today, as it was on this day in 1996 that KISS Unplugged was released. I still love that show. I remember watching it on Halloween way back in 1995. It was so cool to see Pete and Ace back with the guys and I thought it sounded fantastic (and still does). A nice twist on some classic KISS tracks and they played with newfound energy and had great charisma. This really re-launched KISS.

On the Kissology Volume Three: 1992–2000 DVD set, which was released December 18, 2007, you can find the entire concert video including five previously unreleased songs: "Hard Luck Woman" (with Paul Stanley on vocals), "Heaven's on Fire", "Spit", "C'mon and Love Me" and the infamous country version of "God of Thunder".

Check out more below:

"On March 12, 1996, the KISS MTV Unplugged CD and VHS Video were released in the US. KISS MTV Unplugged was recorded August 9, 1995 at Sony Music Studios in New York City. The majority of the CD/VHS features Paul, Gene, Eric Singer and Bruce Kulick. Ace Frehley and Peter Criss join Paul and Gene for '2000 Man' and 'Beth'. All six members close out the CD/VHS with 'Nothin' To Lose' and 'Rock and Roll All Nite'. MTV originally broadcast KISS Unplugged on October 31, 1995."

The Secret Of Happiness Revealed

It's a short book, but worth a read. I'll probably read it again real soon.

Saturday Night Live: Tennis Balls

Jonah Hill hosted last night's Saturday Night Live episode and did a pretty good job as there were some decent skits I thought. None funnier than this digital short called "Tennis Balls" and I think we both know why. I don't want to live in a world where repeatedly getting hit in the bean bag isn't great humor, and this more than qualifies.

Sunday Funnies

Cancer Bats Get Road Sick

"Road Sick", the new video from Cancer Bats, is below. It's from the band's fourth full-length album, "Dead Set On Living", which is scheduled for release in the U.S. on April 24 via Metal Blade Records.

Movie Review: Paul

Synopsis: Two British comic-book geeks (Simon Pegg & Nick Frost) traveling around the U.S. encounter an wise-cracking alien named Paul (voiced by Seth Rogen) outside Area 51. Chased by federal agents and the fanatical father of a young woman that they accidentally kidnap, they hatch a fumbling escape plan to return Paul to his mother ship.

A lot of the humor of this film is really aimed at more of the "fan boy" type than the casual viewer. There are a lot of great nods to classic sci-fi movies throughout, many very subtle. A lot are just one-liners from classics that only movie nerds (moi!) might catch. I picked up quotes and such from Jaws, Star Wars, E.T., Aliens and even Titanic... plus plenty more and things I missed I'm sure.

Simon and Nick of course have a nice chemistry on screen, and if you add Rogen's funny delivery as the animated alien and the always funny Kristen Wiig then there are really plenty of solid laughs. Other cast members include talented folks like Sigourney Weaver, Bill Hader, Jason Bateman and Jane Lynch... so solid all around.

It's a good story too, that drives plenty of action to go with the comedy. There are some shots at religion (or maybe just at religious extremists?) and possibly just a few too many anal probe jokes, but the potty humor works pretty good really with Paul being so crass. It deserves it's "R" rating.

A surprisingly funny, quirky little sci-fi comedy that's worth a watch.

7/10