G. Love and New Belgium Lounging On The Porch

I've always loved New Belgium Brewing Company's marketing, but this is just above and beyond cool even for them. I haven't found the Peach Porch Lounger yet, but the ratings for it are coming in on Ratebeer (12 so far) so it's getting around.

"Beers and front porch lounging with G. Love means peaches, hominy grits, molasses and lemon peel, all funked up with pale and biscuit malts in a saison for sipping. In three-part harmony enters a healthy dose of Brettanomyces to bring tropical, citrus flavors and bold, sweet nose. This foot-stomping beer pours a glowing orange under a fluffy, white head and grooves all the way to its dry finish. G. Love and New Belgium together, making sweet beer and music."

Mudshovel Live

The first song I ever heard by Staind is also still my favorite Staind song, "Mudshovel". This is a cut from the live Blu-Ray they recently put out, Staind: Live From Mohegan Sun.

"Filmed at the Mohegan Sun Arena in Connecticut on 25 November 2011, this concert captures a typically raw and energetic performance by Staind on the tour in support of their eponymous album released in September last year, their first tour to feature new drummer Sal Giancarelli. The show features tracks from the new album mixed in with classic songs from across their career including many of their hit singles."

Korn Live At The Hollywood Palladium

The new Korn DVD "The Path of Totality Tour – Live at the Hollywood Palladium" will be released September 4th and here's a clip from it, “Get Up," a track from their latest offering "The Path of Totality."

Such Is Life

I'm off work this week, but here's a typical week.

Papa Roach Is Still Swingin'

Check out the new music video by Papa Roach for "Still Swingin" off The Connection, their upcoming seventh album. It is set to be released on October 2, 2012 through Eleven Seven Music. The album was produced by Sixx:A.M. vocalist James Michael.

(C) 2012 Eleven Seven Music

Real Men Don't Fear Explosions

But perhaps they should.

Mike Ruocco Live

Here's a cool live video from Mike Ruocco for his song "Millionaires" filmed on the Daughtry "Break The Spell" Tour at Norfolk, VA. If you don't know who this guy is, you should. Check him out and go dig up some Cinder Road as well.

Well Played Sir

And just like that, Clark Kent's cover was blown...

Avicii vs Lenny Kravitz

Check out the new video from Avicii vs Lenny Kravitz for Lenny's song "Superlove."

Movie Review: The Devil Inside

Synopsis: In Italy, a woman becomes involved in a series of unauthorized exorcisms during her mission to discover what happened to her mother, who allegedly murdered three people during her own exorcism.

Yet another possession/exorcism movie, it runs into the same pitfalls that I rate all the other exorcism movies I've seen... how does it compare to The Exorcist? Does it add anything to the whole genre? The answer here is no. Everything here has been done before, every scare and trick, every contortion. That doesn't make it awful, there are some tense moments and good scares, it's just that I've seen it all before. And done much better really. The acting and direction here as well as just the whole look and feel were just sort of OK, slightly cheap or even b-movie level. There's really nothing to make this stand out in the crowded field.

So we might as well fast forward all the way to the ending, which just didn't work for me. It ends abruptly and they put a website address on the screen where you can learn more about what happened. Ugh. I felt like I'd just watched an 80 minute ad for a website (which I didn't even go visit). They should be using websites to get you go watch movies, not vice-versa. Quite honestly, when it arrived at the ending I thought things were really just getting good. Instead of ending, if they'd have give us another 10 minutes on what was happening at that point I would have considered this film much better, or at least somewhat memorable.

Yet another pseudo-documentary horror movie without much horror, but with a lot of cliches and a bad payoff.

4/10

Another Work Week

You're a line judge. The ball is Monday.

Suck It Isaac

Yeah, so I'm supposed to go to Florida for a wedding, mine actually, on Wednesday. It was to be on Thursday morning at sunrise. Damn you Isaac. Oh well, we're going anyway... not sure what will happen though.

Here's what I'd do to Isaac if I ever meet the jerk:

Sunday Funnies

Chael Sonnen Is My Hero

Ha ha I absolutely love Chael Sonnen. This guy is the greatest thing to ever happen to the UFC.

"Fearless light heavyweight Chael Sonnen came on an urgent special edition of UFC Tonight after the cancellation of UFC 151. Sonnen proceeded to verbally tear champion Jon Jones apart, bashing him for refusing to fight and save the event."

The Greatest Moment Of My Life

Pay for 1, score 3... LIKE A BOSS.

Book Review: Ford County Stories

Ford County Stories
by John Grisham

Synopsis: A collection of 7 novellas by John Grisham, his first collection of short stories.

* Blood Drive
* Fetching Raymond
* Fish Files
* Casino
* Michael's Room
* Quiet Haven
* Funny Boy

A nice collection of short stories with some typical Grisham storytelling and unforgettable characters. Some stories are pretty comical, others are actually kind of moving, but they're all actually fairly entertaining as they're told by a guy I consider to be a great storyteller, and he proves it here once again. It's a far cry from all of his legal novels filled with courtrooms and in-your-face morality, but there are at least a couple of stories that deal primarily with a lawyer, and all deal with some morality either subtlety or in-your-face.

Overall it's just nice writing that sucks you in in the first few paragraphs and keeps you interested to turn the pages, with all running around 40 pages each, and forcing you to finish 1 story per sitting probably as I did. They're all just light reading but each is unique enough to leave an impression and keep characters and story lines separated. As usual, he gives an intimate chronicle of Mississippi life and the black-and-white south and having lived in the south all my life a lot of situations and people feel very familiar. This is probably one of the reason I like Grisham's writing so much.

Enough on the feel of the book as a whole, ranked in the order of which I enjoyed them here's a very quick, A.D.D. version of a rundown:

* Blood Drive - A young man is injured in a construction accident, and rampant flurries of rumors quickly entice three young men to drive to Memphis to donate blood for the injured. The road trip doesn't exactly go as planned.

* Quiet Haven - A man hunts victims for financial gain in a retirement home.

* Casino - A quiet, unassuming data collector sets out to bring down a flashy casino owner with his skill at blackjack—as payback for the theft of his wife.

* Michael's Room - A lawyer confronts a pissed-off, vengeful adversary from the past who he wronged.

* Fish Files - A hard-drinking, low-grossing divorce lawyer fed up with his wife, his life, and the law plans a drastic escape after an unexpected phone call.

* Funny Boy - The outcast son of a prominent local family returns home to die from AIDS in 1989.

* Fetching Raymond - Wheelchair-bound woman and her two older sons embark on a short road trip through the Mississippi Delta to her youngest son on death row.

Of the 7, several could probably have been made into full length books I think, namely Quiet Haven, Casino and Michael's Room. All have good characters and left me wanting more of the story, just as the book as a whole left me hoping for another short story compilation someday from Grisham.

8/10

T.G.I. Fn Friday!

Have a drink on me...

Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

I'm not sure who to give credit to for this one, but somebody sent them all to me in an email and I thought I would share them. I haven't even verified if these are all actually attributed to Rodney but regardless, they're pretty funny.

One time I got in a taxi and told the driver to take me where I could get some action. He drove me to my place!

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

I'll tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!

One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.

I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, "Wait til it gets warmer."

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab.

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm very sorry. We did everything we could...but he pulled through."

I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great uncle fought for the west!

My father was stupid. He worked in a bank and they caught him stealing pens.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.

My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

One year they wanted to make me poster boy... for birth control.

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting on his lap. He was in the electric chair.

One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!

This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the Fruit of the Loom guys laughing at me.

I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!

My wife isn't very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, "Did you see the guy that did it?" She said, "No, but I got the license plate."

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.

A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over. There's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home!

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

I went to a massage parlor. It was self service.

If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all.

Once when I was lost I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I
said to him, "Do you think we'll ever find them?" He said, "I don't know kid. There are so many places they can hide."

I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor. They sent a priest up to talk to me. He said, "On your mark..."

When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me.

I had a lot of pimples too. One day I fell asleep in a library. I woke up and a blind man was reading my face.

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.

Last week my tie caught on fire. Some guy tried to put it out with an ax!

I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette.

I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."

I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks.

I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.

I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.

I knew a girl so ugly, the last time I saw a mouth like hers it had a hook on the end of it.

I knew a girl so ugly, she had a face like a saint--a Saint Bernard!

I was tired one night and I went to the bar to have a few drinks. The bartender asked me, "What'll you have?" I said, "Surprise me." He showed me a naked picture of my wife.

During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

My marriage is on the rocks again. Yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.

One day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy...why are you doing that for?" He said, "Because you came home early."

I went to see my doctor... Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah...I told him once, "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me? He said, "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. He told me to wear a brown necktie.

My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him, "If you don't mind, I'd like a second opinion." He said, "All right. You're ugly too!"

I was so ugly, my mother used to feed me with a slingshot!

When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!"

And we were poor too. Why, if I wasn't born a boy, I'd have nothing to play with!

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.

I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.

I tell you, I'm not a sexy guy. I was the centerfold for Playgirl magazine. The staples covered everything!

What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!

Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide." He told me from now on I have to pay in advance.

I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back!

Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.

When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, "We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again."

I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!

I tell you, with my doctor, I don't get no respect. I told him, "I've swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills." He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt because he leaves a pyramid in every room.

With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.

What a dog I got. His favorite bone is in my arm!

Last week I saw my psychiatrist. I told him, "Doc, I keep thinking I'm a dog." He told me to get off his couch.

I worked in a pet store and people kept asking how big I'd get.

Ugh. Life.

We planned a lovely beach wedding in Florida for next week about 6 months ago. Now Hurricane Isaac wrecking things. Ass.

We're trying to sell a house, which is leading to loads of problems to fix. Fun.

And hey, work eats balls right now. Joy.

In summary...

Nice Start To Halloween

I just found out about this one last night, but it sure will be a great start to my month long Halloween celebration. I've seen Rob 4 or 5 times I believe but have somehow never seen Marilyn Manson in concert, despite being a big fan for a decade. This should kick ass.

"The Edge presents Monster Ball 2012 with the Twins Of Evil Tour! Rob Zombie and Marilyn Manson, with special guest J Devil at the Arkansas State Fairgrounds! Gates open at 4pm, show starts at 5pm. Tickets go on sale August 25th at all Ticketmaster outlets, Ticketmaster.com, or by phone at 800.745.3000. Tickets are $38 each with no additional service charges."

Oh... So Close

Nice effort little dude.

Andy Grammer on Jimmy Kimmel Live

Jimmy Kimmel Live had Andy Grammer on last night performing "Keep Your Head Up" and "Miss Me" both off his self-titled debut CD. Check 'em out below:

Oh Jennifer

Bless whoever made this wonderful animated GIF of Jennifer Anniston from the movie Horrible Bosses. My dentist looks nothing like this for the record. Neither does yours.

Marily Manson in Slo-Mo-Tion

"Slo-Mo-Tion" is the new single and video from Marilyn Manson, the 2nd single taken from the album Born Villain.

(P)(C) 2012 Hell Etc. under exclusive license to Cooking Vinyl Ltd in association with Shamrock Solutions Ltd and Robinstone LLP

New Metallica Song... Sort Of

Well it is new, but it's actually a cover of Deep Purple's "When a Blind Man Cries" that will be available on the upcoming tribute album "Re-Machined: A Tribute to Deep Purple's Machine Head."

The 10-song collection, which comes out on Sept. 25 in America, features Metallica, Chickenfoot, Iron Maiden, Glenn Hughes and many more A-list rockers covering each and every one of the songs from Deep Purple’s landmark 1972 album ‘Machine Head.’

Movie Review: Stash House

Synopsis: Dave (Sean Farris) and Emma (Briana Evigan) think they have found the perfect house, until they discover a stash of heroin and end up imprisoned in it by violent thugs looking to get their goods back by any means necessary while leaving no witnesses.

I guess I had pretty low expectations going in to this as it not only was made for a pretty small budget but starred a sure-fire B-movie hero in Dolph Lundgren as one of the baddies. Also it's part of the "After Dark Action" brand, from After Dark Films and Joel Silver's Dark Castle Entertainment. Don't get me wrong, I love After Dark Films (have all of them on DVD and actually you can see my posts on them by clicking right here) but you can't go in to these expecting Gone With the Wind. You can expect some fun though usually and I've found very few of their films unwatchable.

So it delivered on my expectations as a pretty mindless, tense, action/thriller movie that's sort of reminiscent of Jodie Foster's "Panic Room" a few years back, with the heroes trapped in a house (albeit a pretty fortified house) with just a few changes. One of the better differences is that instead of Jodie, in this one we get to stare at the super hot Briana Evigan. Let's take a moment to appreciate that...

But she doesn't get naked and even has a sex scene of sorts where she doesn't take off her pants?!? Also the sexy Alyshia Ochse is in this, but is woefully under used.

OK, back to the movie now. It's pretty dumb. They're in an expensive and super high tech home but there's a stash of heroin just inside the walls. No, not a high tech safe or anything like that but in the walls. The characters behave pretty stupidly, the criminals even more so. I wasn't crazy about how the action sequences were shot really, sort of distracting. There are times when perspective of surveillance cameras is how we see things unfold (similar to Paranormal Activity) and it just seemed odd to me for an action/thriller to go this route as it usually translates better for a horror film.

The movie takes forever to get moving it seems as well and really for what's involved, is sort of slow overall. Things do pick up during the last 30 minutes though, but once the cops arrive their actions are all just baffling.

Again though, it's entertaining for the most part and is probably one of those films that I really didn't have much problem passing the 100-or-so minutes with, but should forget pretty quickly. If Briana flashed some skin or Dolph said "I must break you" then this rating would have jumped exponentially, but no such luck.

4.5/10

Oh Monday, Why Must You Do This?

One Of My Favorite GIFs

I love this animated GIF of a Yankee pitcher getting bonked on the head by the ball. Awesome.

"Hey! Hey! Hey! ... Ohhhhh..."

Nickelback Is Trying Not To Love You

Check out the new official music video for Nickelback's "Trying Not To Love You" which stars Jason Alexander from Seinfeld fame (George Constanza) who falls in love with a beautiful blonde customer played by former "Baywatch" babe Brooke Burns. Great stuff.


For more info visit www.nickelback.com

Sunday Funnies

Metallica Batters Mexico City

Metallica has posted another video from their Mexico City show on August 6th. Check out footage of "Blitzkrieg" in the Tuning Room (0:12), and "Battery" from the show (5:03).

Invisible Hula Hoopin'

A few months ago I re-posted an animated GIF of a girl and her hula hoop that seemed quite popular (go ahead and watch it again, this will wait), so I thought it was time to revisit that general concept, thanks to TheChive.com...

Movie Review: Red State

Synopsis: Three teens go to meet a loose woman they found online only to get kidnapped and held in the fundamentalist Five Points Trinity Church by the infamous Pastor Abin Cooper, who has bad intentions for them to promote his hate agenda to church members. Meanwhile the church becomes under siege by ATF agents led by Agent Joseph Keenan (John Goodman) that have been ordered to destroy the "terrorist cell". Will the teenagers be saved by the agents of the law enforcement agency?

Obviously intended to fire up some emotions at not only church groups similar to Westboro Baptist but at law enforcement agencies like the FBI and ATF and the way they handle Waco style raids. Sure it's a bit heavy-handed but I actually liked this and the way it was presented. It's trying to push buttons, maybe a few too many as it almost loses focus, but it's actually cleverly enough done in places that I found it entertaining.

There's violence aplenty and probably a little something to offend pretty much everybody I guess, but I like to be offended personally. It's not horror as I seem to remember it being marketed as,but just good satire, with fingers pointed squarely at Christian fundamentalist bigots and the US government. It not a comedy either, although there is some humor but most is done with tongue firmly planted in cheek I believe.

One large complaint? I wasn't a big fan of the ending. It felt a bit rushed after such a nice build-up to me.

Lastly, John Goodman is just fantastic here in his role as a conflicted ATF leader I thought.

So does it sound like something you'll be offended by? If so, trust me, you will be. Otherwise give this a watch for a  nice thriller/political/action/horror.


ASAC Brooks: How much you think a cross like that costs?
Joseph Keenan: You mean in dollars or common sense?

Bam.

7.5/10