Movie Review: Dark Floors

Concerned for her autistic daughters health, a father sees a removal from the hospital by force as the only option. An elevator break-down prevents a smooth exit and renders them trapped with others. As the doors open the hospital appears mysteriously deserted. When mutilated bodies are found, creatures from a dark world start appear and it soon becomes clear that the survival of the group may rest solely on the little girl.

This is known as "The Lordi Movie", and for good reason... Finnish metal band Lordi appear in it. If you don't know who Lordi is here's a couple of posts by me as a refresher course: live on Conan O'Brien and their latest video. I would like to say they "star" in this film instead of they "appear" in this film, but their part is pretty limited. Too limited I thought.

The movie spends a lot more time following the eclectic group of people around as they try to find a way out than it does providing scares or horror. It does have a creepy setting and atmosphere, but watching them roam the halls and bicker at each other get's old quickly. There's not a lot of character depth and frankly we never really learn what makes any of them tick, including the focal point of the film... the girl in the wheelchair.

And that is a big problem I had with the movie overall. Nothing is ever explained.

Lordi is their usual cool self, but at the same time anyone familiar with the band is going to do what I did, look at them more of guys in costumes than monsters. When they do appear, which again isn't often enough, I keep thinking they'll strap on their instruments and blast out a metal jam.

So the setting is good at least, and there are some cool effects in use. It has a feel very similar to Silent Hill, and that's a plus. If not for the gaping plot holes (of which a lot of might could have been explained with any depth to the story at all) and cardboard stereotypical characters it could have been a lot more fun. As it is, it's just watchable. Perhaps as a double-feature with KISS Meets The Phantom of the Park.

4/10